life and things

Do you know how it feels to be surrounded by people who do not desire you? Like people you could give a pass and say oh,I could be with so and so. It wouldn't be bad if so and so and I were together it could work And those same so so don't think same about u Absolutely horrid condition. I don't think it best for anyone least of all me But it so happens that people like that still exist in my life People like P who has a girlfriend but I barely speak with him anymore So it just gets me thinking sometimes What do I do? Stop talking to these guys completely ? Continue in a facade And so on I continued when I would rather be in the true arms of someone who really wanted to be with me Love and cherish me Each passing day makes it seem so unattainable and so surreal Like something bound for everyone but not me Somehow I still believe God.. If only I could make my belief stronger My resolve firmer and stay strong and certain that it would happen for me Yes..som...

surely in the end all that glitters is not gold. now my hot blood has chilled a bit i do realise i'm a bit of a noisy sort. besides that i find now that if i am not careful i will end up in a mansoon. thats a cosmo word.back in the days of my fascination with cosmopolitan and glamour. now i can hardly imagine i pass them by on a shelf without as much as a backward glance. anyway this is not about them. it about the remorse i feel at my ways. my unchanging and recalcitrant ways.sometimes a bit of a know it all thing too. all that glitters in me is not gold oh! i am special no doubt about that and i am also a clever girl but i think my wisdom may have got the better of me. i did fail an exam. yes i did and its shocking because i thought i'd passed it. amazing right? yeah.anyway these things can hardly tell u how they are worked out now can they? anyway i get another chance soon. i'm basically just trusting God now and learning from thi very humbling episode. o...

it would be worthwhile to ask myself that question and some others too. the one i'd most like to ask myself now is why i am still single at 26. no useful relationship on the horizon and no apparent plans to settle down instead i find myself bungled with one toxic fellow after the other. ah,permit my brashness. one must tell himself the truth one of these days and i guess my time has come to spill the beans you know i have a horrible temper and some certain insecurities. i never believe anyone likes me or love?love?ha that will mean u killed urself and u'll probably be dead by the time i realised u loved me. but i think that is because people alwyas claim to love you until they turn around and do nasty stuff. anyways,i like honesty and bluntness.....maybe thats why u like me too..ha habut it can get excessive. i only wnat to make heaven thats why. so i was saying that i always seem to meet and like people whoo have problems that need to be fixed. either they are not ...

life and things

Things I have learnt about marriage- It is not about how fast but that good things will always come to those who wait and do so patiently. I will never want to end up with someone I am not comfortable with I want to be happy and I want God to be the king of my home I must must must marry someone who loves God. The things of my past should never be allowed to affect my future I must always give ppl time to show how much they really care about me in order to avoid doubt in future because i will never stop doubting. people always claim to love u and then do the most horrid and hurtful things u could ever imagine.

Imagine what happened at the end of the day yesterday after gripping ?someone showed up on the horison.cute and funny and kind of queer. Today I started a fast which actually started yesterday but because of the issues that came up I couldn do any praying. After praying today,I just decided I am not going to bother myself with certain things e.g if he actually tells people stuff like it is said he does,although I suspect that he does. I have let everything go so much once and for all. I have promised myself not to call or sms him for as long as I can and that there is no point to seeing him. I do not know what to make of all the things I hear and it does seem to me that I don’t know whom to believe now. However I know that she strongly has good intentions for me and she would not just be talking because she feels like. Anyway,that aside,I really am moving on with my life and I have come to the point where I'm just on trysting God explicitly. That’s all. If I have embarras...

Today I saw a note Sadly enuff I tot I was over the part where I still have feelings about all of these things. Honestly,I tot so But to my dismay I felt really bad. I simply cant seem to get over this issue.i had a dream last night about maggots….worms they were everywhere. Really sad.i begin to ask myself-does this mean that I cannot get over this thing and get myself to do something to make me happy? To get out and do things and make myself happy andsocialise. Honestly I know I need to get out more,see the world and all of that stuff ya So I know it is quite silly of me considering the fact that for a very long time I don’t even think of him,maybe I do like every three days. Well,I long gave up on that but it seemed so hard for me to realise that I have to move on..i have to completely move him out of my life and stuff.