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in the end

surely in the end all that glitters is not gold.
now my hot blood has chilled a bit i do realise i'm a bit of a noisy sort.
besides that i find now that if i am not careful i will end up in a mansoon.
thats a cosmo word.back in the days of my fascination with cosmopolitan and glamour.
now i can hardly imagine i pass them by on a shelf without as much as a backward glance.
anyway this is not about them.
it about the remorse i feel at my ways.
my unchanging and recalcitrant ways.sometimes a bit of a know it all thing too.
all that glitters in me is not gold oh!
i am special no doubt about that and i am also a clever girl but i think my wisdom may have got the better of me.
i did fail an exam.
yes i did and its shocking because i thought i'd passed it.
amazing right?
yeah.anyway these things can hardly tell u how they are worked out now can they?
anyway i get another chance soon.
i'm basically just trusting God now and learning from thi very humbling episode.
oh yes cos i did cry a bucketfull of tears.
so i have started all over again from the beginning,cleaning up my act and stuff and it does feel like maybe this time around it will be good.
so here i am at 4am in the morning,blogging.
well,i do like talk.
and back to the part where i said i am a noisy sort,i think i have relapsed into some of my old attributes.
basically you wouldnt understand the dynamics of this one.
there was someone in my life who had such a calming effect that i actually became a better person for that.
now i guess i kinda lost that love it's like oh whatever.
yes.it has felt like that for me.
ah but the best advice u can ever ever get is the one you give yourself...so imagine i'm on my way there.

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