life and things

it would be worthwhile to ask myself that question and some others too. the one i'd most like to ask myself now is why i am still single at 26. no useful relationship on the horizon and no apparent plans to settle down instead i find myself bungled with one toxic fellow after the other. ah,permit my brashness. one must tell himself the truth one of these days and i guess my time has come to spill the beans you know i have a horrible temper and some certain insecurities. i never believe anyone likes me or love?love?ha that will mean u killed urself and u'll probably be dead by the time i realised u loved me. but i think that is because people alwyas claim to love you until they turn around and do nasty stuff. anyways,i like honesty and bluntness.....maybe thats why u like me too..ha habut it can get excessive. i only wnat to make heaven thats why. so i was saying that i always seem to meet and like people whoo have problems that need to be fixed. either they are not ...

life and things

Things I have learnt about marriage- It is not about how fast but that good things will always come to those who wait and do so patiently. I will never want to end up with someone I am not comfortable with I want to be happy and I want God to be the king of my home I must must must marry someone who loves God. The things of my past should never be allowed to affect my future I must always give ppl time to show how much they really care about me in order to avoid doubt in future because i will never stop doubting. people always claim to love u and then do the most horrid and hurtful things u could ever imagine.

Imagine what happened at the end of the day yesterday after gripping ?someone showed up on the horison.cute and funny and kind of queer. Today I started a fast which actually started yesterday but because of the issues that came up I couldn do any praying. After praying today,I just decided I am not going to bother myself with certain things e.g if he actually tells people stuff like it is said he does,although I suspect that he does. I have let everything go so much once and for all. I have promised myself not to call or sms him for as long as I can and that there is no point to seeing him. I do not know what to make of all the things I hear and it does seem to me that I don’t know whom to believe now. However I know that she strongly has good intentions for me and she would not just be talking because she feels like. Anyway,that aside,I really am moving on with my life and I have come to the point where I'm just on trysting God explicitly. That’s all. If I have embarras...

Today I saw a note Sadly enuff I tot I was over the part where I still have feelings about all of these things. Honestly,I tot so But to my dismay I felt really bad. I simply cant seem to get over this issue.i had a dream last night about maggots….worms they were everywhere. Really sad.i begin to ask myself-does this mean that I cannot get over this thing and get myself to do something to make me happy? To get out and do things and make myself happy andsocialise. Honestly I know I need to get out more,see the world and all of that stuff ya So I know it is quite silly of me considering the fact that for a very long time I don’t even think of him,maybe I do like every three days. Well,I long gave up on that but it seemed so hard for me to realise that I have to move on..i have to completely move him out of my life and stuff.

Sometimes I just sit and wonder about dynamics. The dynamics of love and relationship,connections and all of that stuff. The reasons why in life I have met two wonderful people I was ready to spend a lifetime with but thye just wouldn be with me. Is there something about me besides my head that says go aways? I really wondr. So I have decided to face my issues,my fears and insecurities. I know that as a protective mechanism I have always thought of myself as not being too out there. I don’t want people to see my butt,I don’t want anyone to know how big my breasts are,I want to hide my figure,everything. I have dressed down in colour and all u could think of. I wouldn wear high red shoes until a year ago,I would never buy a red bag,plenty of issues. It was just all about hiding. My physical appearance didn put anyone off,once they got attracted. I just wonder what does. SIn case,I think I was so besotted with him,with how wonderful he was and with all the connection,we over...

life and things