life and things

If I don't hear from God tonight It won't be a comfortable night Everything seems uncertain now I'm just wondering if I've ever had it this bad before There's potential in me I know it but right now, I feel alone M called me tonight The one I don't love To say his pastor called him Told him to leave me alone I guess this is the end. I've been scared that if he leaves I won't find someone to marry I prayed to God for a sign Received nothing Unless this is the sign I'm resigned to God. xoxo

Well, He suggested it Brazenly and subtly. I don't know what the idea is with guys and threesomes. It makes them live out fantasies and is born out of watching pornography ? I really can't tell. One thing I know however it that a guy who respects and values you. A guy who wants to wife you, won't ask you to bare down to your very nakedness and frolick in bed with another woman or watch him give himself to one. There are simple rules that govern the world and things go wrong when we try to circumvent or do it our way. The quiet soft spoken answer to a threesome should be no. But this question should raise issues in your mind that must be resolved before the relationship continues. 1. Does he really love me 2. Does he have an interest in another woman 3. Does he watch porn ? 4. Does he love God 5. Does he have other sexual fantasies that may become problematic to our relationship ? Answer these and you'll find the truth. xoxo

Someday my tears will dry. They will come to an end. My weakness will fade And I will have a good story to tell. Depression is real. When you burst into tears for no reason. When nothing brings you joy You stop taking care of yourself You can't be happy no matter how hard you try You lose motivation. You try to be strong but can't The future looks bleak. You starve You eat too much. You sleep too much You don't sleep at night thinking or you wake up early to think. If you're going through any of these, you are depressed. If you have thought of killing yourself it is severe If you are hearing voices and seeing people it is severe and you are now psychotic. Seek help. For now I'm just on moderate and I know it will be over soon. xoxo

This is what he said to me : Jeremiah 15:16- 21 xoxo

When you don't know what the future holds The present can be so bleak. I'm weeping asking God to save me from a marriage without love. That's because it appears like that's where I'm headed. That song 'Aint no sunshine when I'm gone' Sounds like 'Aint no sunshine in my life' It's dark clouds and raining skies just the way it has been here. I cry so much I've got crows feet Give me hope A ray, a glimmer That's all I ask from you Lord I'm weak, I'm down. I'm looking for something to believe in. This life hurts! It's cruel!! xoxo

This is the email I sent to my ex- after he walked away. Months later after april, I'm still crying and despite asking God to heal my heart I'm still hurting. Don't delete this email even if you're upset. It's my form of closure and if you've got anything to say, let me know. You may not though. I think you already 'walked away' so you've probably dealt with everything before now. I was really upset with you yesterday. It seems everything we were before your inability to forgive, u have completely forgotten. The things that endeared you to me and the times we shared before you decided that one christmas trip would be the end of us. I still remember how upset you were and how you changed after then. I still remember how you stressed yourself looking for network to talk to me when you were in owerri. After then, everything just seemed set up to fail. You didn't give us a chance after then. All the issues you raised aren't enough to walk away fr...

So you know what ? The sister and I are all chummy now And I have told her I dated her brother It took two days of awkward tales. But it came out. And what happened next ? It's like we are building back what we had. Things got awkward for a bit And guess what ? She's totally adorable No wonder I fell in love with her brother. xoxo