life and things

I'm not ready At all I wish I could care but I don't. I'm reading but somehow inside me it's like I won't pass or I don't deserve to I'm broken inside completely Something has given way inside me and I don't enjoy life anymore Sometimes I'm motivated like earlier today I wanted to lose weight and do something good for myself Other times I just want to lie down and mope My thyroid is getting bigger I think I'm going to ask for tft's done I'm worried It's impacting on my energy levels and everything I need to do a detox too I'm getting weaker by the day. Too damn sad to do anything. This isn't about being heartbroken. I was but not anymore I can't be mooning over someone I likely won't even take back if it came to that. I mean, someone smokes,drinks and isn't as spiritual as I'd like. Catholic Igbo Same things he cited as being the reasons why we were breaking up. Not going again. One e...

I went to work. I ate about half a cup of peanuts 350mls of pepsi - the pepsi was a cheat just for today. I had pills to take and I don't take pills with water! I never ever take pills with water. It doesn't happen. I also do not drink water. It's bad but I hate water. Anything else but water please! Came home and ate One unripe plantain. Chicken Fish Veggies. Nutri C drink -low calorie. I used the nutri -c to drink 500mg green tea and 25mg hoodia. I'm in bed reading right now. xoxo

This is not about c His chapter has long closed I'm done whinning about all that until I remember something else. This is about a lot of other stuff This is about how I feel sad about my weight I don't feel like I can operate optimally at ths weight I feel weighed down. Fat! At 55kg A fat neck,protruding thyroid too. I am hypothyroid That's why I'm always depressed with a sore throat every few months That's why I sleep a lot and have gained abdominal fat. I've been online and searched for natural remedies. I haven't really seen anything conclusive I think what I'm going to do is go in on my vitamins,try to lose some weight and see if my metabolism will pick up. I noticed it's running a bit slow now. Plus I need to do some detox. I'm going off milo and milky stuff for a while. Perhaps non dairy creamer will be what I'll use and then subs with hotcholocate ..plain low calorie chocolate About time I also started making my own...

How do you feel when someone lied to you from the beginning of a relationship until the end ? Manipulated you even. Played games with you. Gave you the food his girlfriend cooked which by the way I never ate .. Funny yeah. How that saturday before we went to church together he didn't call me for a second. Then on sunday he shows up and we go to church and return home to a pot of stew and already cooked rice. I should have asked myself how efficient one guy could be. Luckily I had my bands in. Seperators. I could barely chew and I didn't eat much. I never ate anything else in that house in all the 5months we were together. I mean, something was always going on in my mouth or I had eaten outside before we got home. On two occasions we ate out. This particular time, I got to the airport and almost missed my flight. Almost at the aircraft door someone who knew I was coming suddenly said he had to go for service with his brother and family because 11am service was the only service t...

Let me tell you a thing or two about how medicine runs your life .. You have exams in 6months. You begin to delay your life You can't make clothes, you can't travel, you can do nothing until the exams are over. You read and read but your confidence is never above 50% If as a doctor you don't have a relationship with God through medical school,it may be difficult to ever come to love him. Many scaled through by grace or kept repeating classes. There is no carryover in medicine. You fail, you resit You fail resit You repeat class You fail repeat You resit You fail repeat resit You go home! No more school. You don't do semesters. You do years So you only go home when you have passed an exam. It was always a dread. As a PG med student It's worse. There's so much pressure to perform You have to live life, deal with heartbreak, find a balance between work,study and other activities and still manage to look like you care what's happening in t...

I'm a month older today by the way. xoxo

God I just need grace You know I can't do this on my own I just need some help from you dear Jesus! Help me. I am a wreck as of today. I haven't done anything useful. My day was wasted. It appears I blog a lot but the truth is I really have no one to unburden to In the world today,nobody really wants to hear you. xoxo