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Thoughts today

Sometimes it hurts
Other times
You just take it all in stride and walk on.
Yes, for the past to days I was beside myself in pain.
I thought of everything from the beginning
Cupid's clothes in his house
Spread everywhere
Hairnet
Underwear
Nightwear
House shorts
Entwined with his clothes
I had to ask myself why c would lie to me.
This was in January.
Six weeks after we started dating
She was back in his life.
Those things weren't there the first time I visited.
What amazes me is that even when he came back from dubai,usa.
Her things were in his house still.
Every second I was gone,she was there.
It hurts me to no end.
And I may never recover from it

I can recover from someone not loving me anymore because they are human.
I can't recover from lies and deceit
How do I look him in the face ever again ?
This is why I didn't go to their office that last lagos trip.
I saw his car and I said to myself
I'd rather not go to south africa than see him.
So I told the cab to pass.
What hurts me more is that I can't bring myself to hate him.
There's nothing there.

And that despite all that's happened including the dubai drama.
I feel sick to my bones despite all the hurt.
I feel used.
I feel like he never had good intentions.
I can't believe or understand how he was dating me and she was still functioning full time in his life.
I don't understand it.
I never will.
I washed her blouse
No wonder he grabbed it from me immediately.
Lied about the owner of the shoes.
His sister says she has no such friend who travelled with klm and ran to hide in america.
Lies!
Lies!!
Lies !!!
It hurts me to say I was dating a liar but that's the truth.

I went on facebook and went through my timeline.
I looked through everything and said to myself I should let them go their way.
I should leave chike to do what he wants.
I pray for him no doubt.
I have such a kind heart, you don't have to tell me.
When I speak with his sister I understand her pain.
Some people are just no good for some others.
I'm not the solution to world problems but I certainly knew I could help his life.
A woman has been in his life and he looked like that was amazing and his house was like that ?
Amazing ..
xoxo

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