I was in my corner trying to move on with my life when it all came to me.
Rushing like a wave of discoveries.
I had been dating someone who was still actively involved with his ex girlfriend.
Infact I don't know if I was the other chic or the real chic.
Her clothes were in his house and he claimed them to be for his sister.
I even washed her negligee the last time I was there.
Maybe he liked me or something
But I simply can't understand what I was doing there while she was still in his life.
I try to imagine that's probably how it felt for FBI's second to the last girlfriend.
But I wasn't even in the picture
I let him do his thing and I didn't even show up until it was over.
Yes, I know I've always been in the horizon but not in such a way as to destroy another woman's happiness.
I don't know what parents seriously allow their child to travel alone with a man who hasn't married her.
What if they go to some court and get married or something ?
Anyway, you know what ? I can't begrudge a woman who is in love and will do anything to hold the man down.
My friend got married yesterday and it's pretty much the same thing but not completely so.
I'm talking about the pain I feel now which is almost physical.
I'm talking about the way I feel now which is killing me inside so much that I can't do anything with myself.
I'm broken.
Last night I sat until 1am and cried to God for life, for help, for healing.
I'm carried a heart that has been destroyed.
The very last things I held on to as a bit of my dignity from that relationship have been torn away.
But somewhere in it all I stopped to ask myself, how did he feel being so deceitful ?
How did he feel lying to me every second of the day ?
How did he feel doing all those things ?
Bringing me to his house when she lives down the block ?
If not even the owner of the house he lives in ?
I seriously suspect that the conspiracy theory is far beyond what I can see with my bare eyes.
I suspect they are the owners of the house where he lives.
I don't know but I mean, the business thing has the same address as his street.
Unless she's working and selling out of his home.
I have books to read but I'm spending my time on this.
I already know that going by my poor level of preparation I am due to fail this exam but I am just crying to God to help me.
Who says I'll be in better state in march ?
Who says I'll even be in residency then ?
There is confusion everywhere.
I'm going to read my books.
Do you know why ?
Even if she's 30 and same age as I am , we are not the same.
I am a pG doctor.
I graduated school six years ago.
I should know who I am.
I am a woman!
I am strong afterall I bore all these pains alone.
There's nothing else I need to do.
There's seriously no need to either.
Imagine discovering that they travelled together ..
He didn't waste any time either to attempt saying my brother discredited him so he doesn't have any business to do but to travel.
Well, he needs someone who will keep travelling and vacationing because that's not my style.
I don't do those things on a whim and caprice.
That was one of the first problems we had.
Travel on the 26th to enugu for a randevous
I'm not loose please.
Yes, you know the body count.
It doesn't make me less of a person.
It just shows the kind of heart I have which you saw through and took advantage of.
So maybe she ticks all the right boxes
Career woman ey ?
Catholic
Igbo
Wardrobe to kill
Meanwhile she was wearing a shift spandex thing.
Same thing he said he doesn't like.
Men are such hypocrites
Not like I'd wear spandex.
I'm too voluptous for such business.
Chatted with the sister last night.
Guess what she said ?
Forget him !
Plus I'm still not over him.
The past one week
I was so overwhelmed with a need to call him but kept from doing so.
Little did I know he was planning a trip with his madam.
Well, I'm okay.
I just know one thing.
I've got a God.
I haven't put my hand in any evil thing or evil place!
God will see me to my expected end.
xoxo
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