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The questions,the questions ..

I'm crying then I stop to ask myself a few questions.
Did he deserve me ?
I was totally honest to him about everything.
Did he deserve me ?
Did she know about me ?
Did she call him delibrately all those times?
Did he have good intentions for me ?
What was his motive ?
All the food he gave me did she cook it ?
I'm questioning everything that happened when we were together and I'm trying to make sense of it all.


I'm only going to pray for healing for my heart and thank God for the life I have.
For I used my hands to wash his girlfriends clothes thinking they were for his sister.
I'm wondering if there has been any other humiliation like this.
But I promise myself one thing.
30years is enough lessons already.
I've had the last one from ce and c the lady in question perhaps innocent of all his doings and I don't owe anything.
I don't want to say she knew he was dating someone else or what she thought.
I don't want to say she sat somewhere laughing at me and saying to herself you'll be gone soon or something similar.
It's just that this will never happen again.
About had it.

This wasn't the life I saw myself living when I was a child.
Granted I never had daydreams or thoughts of what I wanted prince charming to be but I'm seriously asking myself questions.

Where did I go wrong ?
I found that out.
I never expected to stumble on these things but God who knows best caused me to see it.
I leave my life in his hands and pray to heal from the hurt.
xoxo

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