life and things

surely in the end all that glitters is not gold. now my hot blood has chilled a bit i do realise i'm a bit of a noisy sort. besides that i find now that if i am not careful i will end up in a mansoon. thats a cosmo word.back in the days of my fascination with cosmopolitan and glamour. now i can hardly imagine i pass them by on a shelf without as much as a backward glance. anyway this is not about them. it about the remorse i feel at my ways. my unchanging and recalcitrant ways.sometimes a bit of a know it all thing too. all that glitters in me is not gold oh! i am special no doubt about that and i am also a clever girl but i think my wisdom may have got the better of me. i did fail an exam. yes i did and its shocking because i thought i'd passed it. amazing right? yeah.anyway these things can hardly tell u how they are worked out now can they? anyway i get another chance soon. i'm basically just trusting God now and learning from thi very humbling episode. o...

it would be worthwhile to ask myself that question and some others too. the one i'd most like to ask myself now is why i am still single at 26. no useful relationship on the horizon and no apparent plans to settle down instead i find myself bungled with one toxic fellow after the other. ah,permit my brashness. one must tell himself the truth one of these days and i guess my time has come to spill the beans you know i have a horrible temper and some certain insecurities. i never believe anyone likes me or love?love?ha that will mean u killed urself and u'll probably be dead by the time i realised u loved me. but i think that is because people alwyas claim to love you until they turn around and do nasty stuff. anyways,i like honesty and bluntness.....maybe thats why u like me too..ha habut it can get excessive. i only wnat to make heaven thats why. so i was saying that i always seem to meet and like people whoo have problems that need to be fixed. either they are not ...

life and things

Things I have learnt about marriage- It is not about how fast but that good things will always come to those who wait and do so patiently. I will never want to end up with someone I am not comfortable with I want to be happy and I want God to be the king of my home I must must must marry someone who loves God. The things of my past should never be allowed to affect my future I must always give ppl time to show how much they really care about me in order to avoid doubt in future because i will never stop doubting. people always claim to love u and then do the most horrid and hurtful things u could ever imagine.

Imagine what happened at the end of the day yesterday after gripping ?someone showed up on the horison.cute and funny and kind of queer. Today I started a fast which actually started yesterday but because of the issues that came up I couldn do any praying. After praying today,I just decided I am not going to bother myself with certain things e.g if he actually tells people stuff like it is said he does,although I suspect that he does. I have let everything go so much once and for all. I have promised myself not to call or sms him for as long as I can and that there is no point to seeing him. I do not know what to make of all the things I hear and it does seem to me that I don’t know whom to believe now. However I know that she strongly has good intentions for me and she would not just be talking because she feels like. Anyway,that aside,I really am moving on with my life and I have come to the point where I'm just on trysting God explicitly. That’s all. If I have embarras...

Today I saw a note Sadly enuff I tot I was over the part where I still have feelings about all of these things. Honestly,I tot so But to my dismay I felt really bad. I simply cant seem to get over this issue.i had a dream last night about maggots….worms they were everywhere. Really sad.i begin to ask myself-does this mean that I cannot get over this thing and get myself to do something to make me happy? To get out and do things and make myself happy andsocialise. Honestly I know I need to get out more,see the world and all of that stuff ya So I know it is quite silly of me considering the fact that for a very long time I don’t even think of him,maybe I do like every three days. Well,I long gave up on that but it seemed so hard for me to realise that I have to move on..i have to completely move him out of my life and stuff.

Sometimes I just sit and wonder about dynamics. The dynamics of love and relationship,connections and all of that stuff. The reasons why in life I have met two wonderful people I was ready to spend a lifetime with but thye just wouldn be with me. Is there something about me besides my head that says go aways? I really wondr. So I have decided to face my issues,my fears and insecurities. I know that as a protective mechanism I have always thought of myself as not being too out there. I don’t want people to see my butt,I don’t want anyone to know how big my breasts are,I want to hide my figure,everything. I have dressed down in colour and all u could think of. I wouldn wear high red shoes until a year ago,I would never buy a red bag,plenty of issues. It was just all about hiding. My physical appearance didn put anyone off,once they got attracted. I just wonder what does. SIn case,I think I was so besotted with him,with how wonderful he was and with all the connection,we over...

life and things

The strange case of love I get tired too. I do because love ought to be fun. It doesn’t have to hurt to feel good and I don’t have to feel like I’ve given up the world just to love you. Besides, what makes this a pathetic story is the fact that you do not want my love and I’m so stupid, weak and foolish that I cant hold it back. I think I cant help myself but I know I can because the first time I saw you,I didn’t really like you. This is all a product of my mind. playing awful tricks on me. Why would my mind decide that you are the best? why would my mind decide that there can be no other like you. Take note of the fact that it has done this before. in alarming proportions. So that’s why I’m begging it now. After all,I got over the last one as I will over you. If u could hurt me so bad and yet still I survived,then I can go through Somalia,Rwanda and hunger. Strive,malice of unknown proportions. Then I can go through whatever life throws at me and come out strong. I wonder what I ever ...

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