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Showing posts from August, 2010
Today I saw a note Sadly enuff I tot I was over the part where I still have feelings about all of these things. Honestly,I tot so But to my dismay I felt really bad. I simply cant seem to get over this issue.i had a dream last night about maggots….worms they were everywhere. Really sad.i begin to ask myself-does this mean that I cannot get over this thing and get myself to do something to make me happy? To get out and do things and make myself happy andsocialise. Honestly I know I need to get out more,see the world and all of that stuff ya So I know it is quite silly of me considering the fact that for a very long time I don’t even think of him,maybe I do like every three days. Well,I long gave up on that but it seemed so hard for me to realise that I have to move on..i have to completely move him out of my life and stuff.
Sometimes I just sit and wonder about dynamics. The dynamics of love and relationship,connections and all of that stuff. The reasons why in life I have met two wonderful people I was ready to spend a lifetime with but thye just wouldn be with me. Is there something about me besides my head that says go aways? I really wondr. So I have decided to face my issues,my fears and insecurities. I know that as a protective mechanism I have always thought of myself as not being too out there. I don’t want people to see my butt,I don’t want anyone to know how big my breasts are,I want to hide my figure,everything. I have dressed down in colour and all u could think of. I wouldn wear high red shoes until a year ago,I would never buy a red bag,plenty of issues. It was just all about hiding. My physical appearance didn put anyone off,once they got attracted. I just wonder what does. SIn case,I think I was so besotted with him,with how wonderful he was and with all the connection,we over...